The 2am Girl

2am

Have you ever noticed that what appears to be a harmless night out usually comes with a lot of painful repercussions? I mean, come on, let’s do a walk through of the morning after. It usually begins with waking up in what you had on the night before, but accompanied by an “X” branded somewhere on your face.  You have a huge head ache and are feeling so sick, like you’ve been kissed by the angel of death. For some, it’s rolling over to a stranger asleep next to them, someone who was a 10 but is now a nameless 2. This all leads to a panic attack from not knowing what you even did.

I mean let’s be real here, there is truth behind the statement that nothing good happens after 12… never has and never will. So then why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Is there a deeper reason that we try to hide to justify our careless actions? I think so.

I think some of us party for the sole reason of forgetting our struggles. We think, “Well, life is not going how we planned and everything is falling apart, so let’s get so drunk that we won’t remember. At least for those hours, we will feel free and can just live in the moment. I mean, come on YOLO!”

For others it’s a chance to get all dolled-up in dresses that barely do the job of covering up our lady parts. Some even add pounds of makeup and 10 inch heels.  Why? On the surface one answer could be to feel good and hopefully be “hot” enough to get free drinks all night. Another reason could be that there are the ones who aren’t of age who dress up to match their fake IDs.

But let’s stop for a second and chew on a deeper thought. Could we possibly be doing this for affirmation in order to feed our insecurities? In our minds are we thinking, Well if we dress up and show our “goodies,” guys will think we’re pretty and buy us drinks, which means they like us… right? Wrong.

I think we can all agree with the fact that after these so-called “harmless” nights, we are left feeling empty and usually with a super-sized side of guilt. Sadly, this internal emptiness is from trying to fill the voids in our lives with worldly things. And as for the guilt, that is from us knowing in our subconscious that what we are doing is wrong.

Yet we still continue because we don’t want to face the truth that what we are doing is only a temporary fix.

The definition of the word insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. So at what point are we going to quit denying that there is a deeper issue and stop searching for a merely temporary fix? Choosing to continue down this road is like placing a Band-Aid on our wounds and calling it a day. If we really want to stop this vicious cycle and be healed, as well as lose this feeling of emptiness, we need to go to the heart of the problem. Ultimately, we need to stop filling our voids with worldly things and only then will we be able to live a truly fulfilled life.

Ryann

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