S U M M E R F L I N G
Summer is by far one of the best times of the year. The change of season and warmer weather often encourages a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow, free-spirit attitude, which can be a nice change of pace from our fast-paced, busy lives.
However, when that carefree mindset transitions into “summer fling” relationships, it can be harmful. Because, lets be honest: most summer fling relationships are centered more on physical attraction and infatuation than true, deep connection. It doesn’t help that our culture promotes this kind of careless, self-centered relationship.
Disclaimer: I am by no means saying that you cannot find real love during the summer. I am writing about the damaging mindset behind consciously engaging in a summer fling or “summer love,” knowing that there is no real foundation or future for the relationship.
A common definition I found when Googling summer fling was, “A sexual adventure free of hassles, commitments or drama, timed for the summer only. Something light and fun-filled with nothing to worry about at the end of the season. Usually not exclusive to one person, ends in a mutual agreement of friendship.”
Engaging in this form of relationship is damaging to our hearts, our future relationships and even our potential future spouse.
Ultimately, we engage in dating relationships to find out if we are compatible enough with someone to spend the rest of our lives with that person in a marriage blessed by God. Ideally, we should be striving to find this compatibility first through our shared faith and then through morals, family upbringing, interests, etc.
Even though you may not realize it now, being in these types of non-committal, shallow, “drama-free” relationships only hurts you. I speak from experience. I am by no means perfect and have engaged in a summer fling or two in my early college years. During that time of my life I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, and I definitely didn’t think I was doing anything to harm my future relationships.
The truth of the matter is that when you have a “summer fling” with someone, you are giving parts of yourself away to that person, and if you keep having more and more flings, you give more and more of your heart to guys who aren’t going to be your husband.
I have never realized this truth more than I do now, when I am in a relationship with a man I know I am going to marry. None of the other boys before were worth giving myself to – and I can’t get those parts back, even though I do believe that I have been healed and restored by God, and my heart renewed.
I remember being in high school and my mom explaining the importance of guarding my heart for the right man in my life. I wish that I had realized then how true her words were.
So, beloveds, guard your heart. Guard your body.
Make conscious decisions about who you give your soul to, who you spend your time with, and who you truly pursue in a romantic way.
Like I said earlier, I am not a summer love cynic. I am actually a hopeless romantic, and I believe the best love can be found in the summertime! Just be careful about who and how you date, and know that the “summer fling” mindset can leave you feeling drained and empty once fall rolls around. God doesn’t want that for you, and neither do I.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.