Two weeks ago, my husband and I made the cross country trek to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, so he could do cool Army Officer things. After 16 hours of American road and some sickness (being nine weeks pregnant will do that) we made it to our new home. I was thrilled at the idea of having neighbors and meeting women who had babies so they could hopefully help me have one too.
Except… my husband works long hours, it’s seemingly impossible to find a job, and the women here keep to themselves. We got lost on our way to church last Sunday (who knew there were 11 chapels on base?!), so church was watched online and ended with daily Bible time. Another day without making friends.
Here was the place I was supposed to “adult”
—to come into my own as a wife and [future] mother. But the cloudy days began to fog my heart and all the commotion (good and bad) going on back home made it hard to see how I’m needed here, in the middle of nowhere (literally).
It was fitting that last night in my personal devo time Jesus revealed his sweet heart to me from the Gospel of John. He says, “Live in me, and I will live in you. A branch cannot produce any fruit by itself. It has to stay attached to the vine. In the same way, you cannot produce any fruit unless you live in me” (John 15:4 [italics mine]). I realized that I was totally a loose branch over here! I was connected to my family, friends, and my former self but not connected to the very thing that gives me life! No wonder the distance felt unbearable.
I woke up this morning feeling pruned and absolutely drenched in my own vulnerability. The silence of my home no longer feels sad and empty, but hopeful. Jesus reminds us that if we live in him, we can ask for whatever we want that will bring glory to the Father—He will give us the fruits to do so! I may only have little buds now, but I am giving them to God, praying that they will blossom into lasting friendships, a squishy baby, and a loving marriage—
an overall redeemed life centered in the arms of our Lord.
I encourage you all to take a closer look at John 15:1–8 today and become more than interested in our Savior—get connected, or reconnected to his vine of life, grace, and joy.
Featured PC: @courtneystews via. #belovedlife