Darling, you are wanted
This last year has been one of the most challenging, beautiful, chaotic adventures of my life. My weaknesses are many, but I must admit this one has been my most humbling. I endlessly struggle with the desire to be wanted. What girl doesn’t want to feel wanted? In this desire, I have found my heart raw over the last year. It has been a season of growth and grace, of hope and contentment. It has been a beautifully tragic journey with my sweet Jesus.
This last year I have dealt with endless disappointments. Who hasn’t?
I have experienced rejection. Oh, you too?
I have lost some of the best pieces of me, or so I thought… I found that when God wants to move, He’ll move, and it’s my choice to follow Him. My desire to be wanted was deeper than ever when I thought I had lost my best friend of four years. Though it was a hard season of separation from him, God knew I needed it. And that cut hard into my heart. God knew it needed to change. I allowed my fears to become bigger than my purpose. I allowed the waves to swallow my heart and drown in my doubt; would I ever be wanted?
Could I ever give love with the knowledge that I am loved?
These thoughts left my heart feeling weary and alone. I needed to understand what being wanted truly meant. And this last year broke the chains that once made me heavy. It was God who showed me greater love. He restored my brokenness, He took me aside and He did a work in my heart. He began to restore me as I laid my fears at His feet. He began to satisfy my heart with the wholeness of His word. I had nothing to give but myself, and I am learning that to live out John 3:30 (He must increase; I must decrease) is to be brave. It is a constant battle between flesh and wholeness in life, and God wants us whole.
My desire to be wanted began to change as the Savior gripped my heart and revealed to me a sensational purpose for my life. He knows the depths of my heart, and He loves me the same, and that to me is humbling. My desire to be wanted increased knowing that my Savior satisfies. That my insignificance doesn’t come from a God who loves relentlessly. God showed me that the contamination in my life had to go, you know, the icky, sticky, smelly stuff.
He wanted it all. He wanted the darkest parts of me, and in return He breathed color into my life. He wanted me to be brave, to walk like a lady with purpose.
It has left me with the notion that I am nothing without Christ.
Darling, you are spoken for. You are wanted. You are deserving of a divine romance, and lovely, there is a Savior who wants to give you the first and last dance. Human relationships are beautiful when orchestrated by the One who dances over us. And Christ wants us first before we give ourselves to anything else. To be wanted is beautiful. To be lonely is a part of the struggle, but it is only temporary when we have an eternally loving God.
He wants you to experience a love that is sensational… We all want to be wanted, and He has the key to unlock your heart, revive your soul, and give you a home in His heart. He gives an unbelievable contentment, it’s indisputable. The struggle is minor compared to the sweet waltz Christ is wanting to have with you.
So dear one, believe you are worth the struggle, and choose Jesus in your doubt. Love with reckless abandon and rawness. Waltz with Jesus knowing He wants to hold your hand for the rest of your life. You are adored by the King. You are wanted, sweet thing.