Why is it that we can be well-recovered from a loss or be fully content with not being in a relationship and then the holidays roll around and suddenly old wounds are opened?
My dear friends, I write this article from a place of sensitive familiarity. I know that the season to be jolly can often be a season of renewed pain and a cry for comfort. As a somewhat newly single woman, I have been personally dreading the holidays. Just the thought of not spending Thanksgiving with my ex and his family, cozying up by the fire together, or the idea of not getting a thoughtful Valentine’s Day card from him made me want to curl up in my bed and never come out. But I’ve been praying and reflecting with the Lord a lot lately, and I would love to share with you what God is revealing to me.
First, let me start by saying that despite the sting of a break up, I still believe relationships are good. God can do the most amazing things through relationships. We were made with the desire and purpose to love people and be loved in return. But, somewhere along the way we have been told that if we aren’t in a relationship then we are doing something wrong…we aren’t good enough…we need a man in order to be made complete…to fill the void of loneliness. How did that happen?!? And why on earth do we believe any of that?
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because the Lord, your God, goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
I may not be married yet or have a boyfriend anymore, and I may feel lonely sometimes, but I’m sure as heck not alone nor am I single! Let me explain: One of the most essential and fundamental facts we must learn as Christians is that we are never alone.
Society tells us that because we are single, we are alone. God tells us that because we are His, we are never alone.
“Nevertheless, I am always with you; you hold my right hand” (Psalm 73:23). How cool is that? We were made by an all-knowing, all-sufficient God. A God who knows exactly what we need for every single second of our lives. A God who has gone before us and has plans for us. A God who holds us close and never lets go. So I urge you sisters, don’t fear being alone…because the very encouraging truth is that we aren’t.
There’s no doubt that looking ahead to a new year can be scary, though. Actually, it can be terrifying! Life is challenging, and it’s normal to desire the comfort of a significant other. But here’s the good news: We have Jesus. The whole package. The One. You hear all the time that we will never truly be satisfied until we are satisfied with Jesus. Isn’t that true?
So, what I mean by “I’m not single,” is simply this: I’m dating Jesus. That might sound weird to some and the idea of seeing Jesus as your boyfriend can be uncomfortable and hard. I know that it was sort of odd to me to at first…but then I got to thinking… in a nutshell, a boyfriend is someone you have feelings for, someone who is your love interest, someone you want to spend all of your time with, someone you think about day and night, someone you can rely on to comfort you and protect you, someone you want to be romanced by and perhaps someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Why shouldn’t we see Jesus that way?
So, I’m dating Jesus. I’m being divinely romanced by the Lover of my soul. The man who knows everything about me and loves me anyway. The man who laid His own life down to protect me from my sins. The man I can call upon any hour of the day, and He listens to my every word. I’m falling so deeply in love with Him every day that I want to spend the rest of my life with Him. I see the sun gleaming through my window and I feel the warmth of His love. I see the leaves changing beautiful colors and I feel Him transforming me. I hear the birds sing in the morning and I feel the comfort of His voice. I’m dating Jesus and it’s just as real, if not more, than as if I was dating someone here on earth.
Be satisfied in Jesus. Know you are not alone.
Don’t fear the holidays.
You are a strong, able, beautiful daughter of the King and you have the power of Christ in you. You can do anything and you can conquer anything. Be brave this season!
“I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he has inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. The snares of death encompassed me… I suffered distress and anguish. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “O, Lord, I pray! Deliver my soul!” Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk in the presence of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalms 116:1-9