A Time to Weep

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A few weeks ago my cat died. I got her 15 years ago and she was my first pet. After shedding a few tears about her death, I realized that home would never be the same without her. Then I came to a more haunting realization—I have no home.

For 10 months out of the year I live with my roommate at college, and then during holidays I split my time between seeing my own family and my fiancé’s family Our parents are even in the process of turning our bedrooms into guest rooms since we’ll be living on our own come May. And boy, how I thought that life change couldn’t come fast enough: to have a bed of my own, a little house to keep, and a husband to love on 24/7.

However, my excitement turned to fear when I went back to the thought of leaving my first home behind. How often would I see my parents? How are we going to pay for insurance and bills? Will I even be good at being a wife? These questions and more spun my head around in circles making it impossible to concentrate on anything else. That fear soon turned to frustration, which turned into… you guessed it, the water works.

When my attitude of discontent spiraled into days of gloominess, I knew there must be a better way.

God’s way.

Paul writes in Philippians, “…I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances” (4:11). Those words stuck with me as I came across the third chapter of Ecclesiastes. The song, “Turn! Turn! Turn!” by The Byrds flowed peacefully through my head. Here I thought that this change in my life was going to be all sunshine and roses. Nothing ever is! Not that it’s a bad thing – because every fork, bump, (or massive wall) in the road is a reminder from our Father to relax and trust Him through all our ever-changing seasons of life.

I had never read through the whole book of Ecclesiastes before, and I was amazed at what God crammed in to one of the shorter books in the Old Testament. The author writes about how there is a time and season for everything—literally everything. I felt an immediate sense of comfort in knowing that my time of puzzlement and mourning was completely okay. Instead of forcing myself to do busy work to forget, I fully embraced the moment and let my tears flow freely. I felt the Lord’s comfort and gentle whispers calm
my anxious heart.

That moment of freedom was so incredible, so I went back and read the book again. At some points, the author seemed just as confused as I was about the meaning, the true meaning of life. I challenge all of you sisters to read through this book and personalize God’s meaning for your life, no matter what season you may be in. Change isn’t always hard, but it is always humbling. Yet this I know – that God will see to it that His guiding hand is with us through every season, even the weepy ones.

Jenna

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