A Day of Promise

traci
{original photo from Traci Renee Photography}

A Day of Promise.

I write a lot about seasons. I speak often of them. I see my life as a constant flow from one season into another. Each one is marked by different events and words and promises Jesus is speaking over my life. In my post last month, I wrote about the aftermath of the sudden death of my boyfriend of 4 years. 8 months ago, I was stepping into a season of taking. A season of heartache and confusion and clouded vision. My future, my plans, my love, my excitement, my companionship, my “being known” – it was all taken in an instant. And as I wrote before, when I received the news that the person whom I had placed my love and future with was gone from this world, before I even knew what was coming out of my mouth, I said “But God is still good”. Those 5 words have been the threads that have held me together through nights of restless tears and mornings with no promise for what the day was going to hold. For the most part, this journey has felt more like wandering in the dark; placing my hands and feet out before I make any certain move, for fear of hitting something painful. Tuning into my senses and moving from what I feel is around me, to what I hear. His Word does say that His sheep hear His voice + He knows us + and we follow Him (John 10:27). And in these dark seasons – these seasons of what I knew and what I held to being taken from me – the voice of my Father becomes much more recognizable, because it is all I am followingAll I can follow.

In the wandering dark, hands out straight, swinging and pressing to protect me from harm, I am settled by the voice of my Father, calling me & leading me to the day of promise – to the light. 

That’s what has gotten me through every step of this. Not a book, not a word, not a song, nothing…nothing but His voice to follow. And it has not been done without a bump or a stumble or even a fall -there have been plenty moments where Jesus has grabbed my shoulders and said “Traci, this way. Not that way” And there have been countless moments where I’ve paused and thought to myself, “Am I coming out of this season? Is that the day He has promised me? Is this wandering over?”

And just as I begin to convince myself, I hear Him say again, “No, daughter. Not yet. Almost. You’re almost there. This way…follow me

8 months. 8 months of wandering. 8 months of thinking I was seeing the day, and remembering that there are plenty counterfeits for true sunlight. 

And then…without expectation, without knowing, and honestly with a little bit of doubting…I stepped into light. And I opened my eyes, and shut them again, and then opened to adjust. This is it. This is the day. These are the promises. This is the bursting forth from months underneath, growing, and rooting in the soil. I’ve stepped into a new season. The season of giving. And I have asked God over and over and over, “Is this really true? Is this it?” And all I hear Him say is a resounding “Yes” And I remember that I hear His voice. I heard it then, I heard it through the wandering, and I hear it now. Because He knows me. And I am knowing Him. 

So during this season of giving, I am praising Him for what He took and what He revealed to me through that taking. I am owning the heartache I experienced and the truth that Jesus has healed me. Because in the light, as it shines on every corner and every shadow that once was, I see now all He was doing in the dark season. I see His hand of faithfulness, I cannot deny it.

And as I look back and remember the moments I felt more like dying than living, the moments I asked God what He was doing, as if I knew better, and the moments I blatantly told Him “no” in disobedience, I see now the beauty He was forming and the melodies He was singing over each part of my life. And nothing would have shaken me and broken me and stirred me up like this journey has. So I thank Him for my story. For my heartache and for my healing. For my pain and for the way His promises outshine it. I am so thankful for the testimony of His faithfulness I have to tell.

So now, beloveds – I can tell you, God is good. And I can say this, because I have tasted and I have seen. He delights in you. And whatever the wandering darkness you are in right now, believe me – He is forming and creating and stirring up something that you could have never dreamed of. He created you, remember? He knows the little things and the big things that make you come alive, and He is making something beautiful and bright out of your season of darkness. So brace yourself for the bursting forth, as you grow and bloom from the underneath the soil into something bold and bright and beautiful.

Traci

 

1 Comment

  • Reply July 3, 2014

    kimberly

    That was an amazing story i really needed those encouraging words and as you know i can relate some to what u went through but i wanted to comment cause well it really changed my perspective on things your such a big inspiration in my life 🙂 thank you

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